Have We Forgotten The Power of Live Conversations in the Most Critical Moments?

 As we move into the second week in September, it’s full steam ahead into a highly anticipated fourth quarter.    The air is a little cooler and many of us are back to work and school and regular routines at home.  As you can see, I am also getting back to my blogging commitment!

Something on my mind this month is our increasing reluctance, even across generations, to pick up the phone and have live conversations in the moments where it matters most.  In the last week alone, I have been privy to three different situations that would have benefitted from direct, live conversations early on from what I might call a “critical incident,” whether it be a conflict, mistake, and/or situation where there is a perceived lack of respect, empathy or understanding.

I confess, I am no less guilty of this habit to handle most of my professional dialogue over email and can get caught in an unproductive loop.  I received an email late at night last week about something relating to a future scope of work, where a boundary felt crossed for me. Feeling an urge to advocate for myself and resolve the situation, I was caught in a a flurry of back-and-forth through 11 pm.  I am thankful that when I relayed my experience to my partner, he wisely reflected that instead of reacting so immediately, I could just have just set up a live conversation for tomorrow.

Eureka! I know this (you know this!) and yet it’s not always easy to see and do the best thing in the moment when we feel the urge during what I might call an “amygdala hijack” of our brains.   Conversations, when entered with an open mind, do humanize the other, broaden our perspective and help us move forward emotionally and intellectually in ways that online communication cannot facilitate.

The pendulum has swung too far to the impersonal online realm in all aspects of our daily lives professionally and personally.  Whether the explanation is a seeming desire for efficiency, control, avoidance or just habit at this point, this approach is taking a toll emotionally and leading to less-than-optimal outcomes overall.  

It’s time to push back on the pendulum swing away from live conversations.  Seemingly little misunderstandings can lead to big and unintended consequences. 

Pick up the phone! Or schedule the conversation!  It will be more productive and efficient in the end.