Thanksgiving Wish; An Antidote to Self Promotion
On this Thanksgiving week, I hope you enjoy good company, good food and all good things!
Responses to “What are you most grateful for?” at my local Orange Theory
My week began on a positive note when I kicked off one of my Chief groups with a question that was a slight twist on the typical Thanksgiving reflection on overall gratefulness. My question, which I collected from a colleague, was this:
What are you most grateful for about yourself right now?
There is nowhere to hide with this question. It goes right to the heart of one’s inner life, one’s current level of confidence, and one’s identity. I was struck how effortless it was for this group to retrieve their answers. One person shared she was grateful for being able to stay true to her values in an environment that had challenged them; another explained that her self concept had finally caught up to others’ positive feedback about her impactful communication skills; one spoke about her pride in raising a precocious teenager with grace. I found it refreshing to celebrate these women’s victories, even if one person noted that it felt boastful for her to answer. I don’t disagree that self-promotion is a delicate art.
This 2021 HBR article, “Savvy Self Promotion” by Leslie John, describes many “potholes in the road” when trying to come across as both competent and likable at work. The piece also highlights the scarcity of opportunities for employees to share about themselves in ways that foster pride, connection, development and further opportunity. Sadly, Leslie suggests that we leverage more indirect strategies, such as having other mentors or colleagues speak up on our behalf, do our best to perform well consistently and be prepared to share our value in a balanced way when asked.
So that employees don’t have to wait for that rare opportunity, my encouragement and hope for leaders is that they will create more forums for team members to talk openly and less self-consciously about their sources of pride and their everyday successes. Here are some starter questions to make it easier for team members to talk about themselves with confidence.
What “muscles” did you grow this year and in what project or capacity?
What comes easily to you that you are surprised to get frequent compliments around?
What skillset(s) do you most enjoy bringing to bear in your work and why?
What aspects of a particular assignment(s) put you into “flow” state this year?
What accomplishment are you most proud of this year?
And to close, I too will answer the question I asked my leaders. I feel most grateful that I have built and strengthened so many personal and professional relationships this year. Relationship building genuinely fills my bucket and I am proud to have garnered the trust to do such vulnerable work with my clients, colleagues and partners. And if you are reading this to the end, I want to share that I am proud to know and/or have worked with you! And I would love to hear your reflections on this question for yourself and how you are creating more forums for others to reflect substantively on their bright spots this end of year.
